Deepavali 2024

November 4, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Last Thursday was Deepavali 2024. The first without my mum and brother number 1. There’s a photo of the two of them smiling whilst sitting on my mum’s blue sofa, taken last Deepavali. Each with an oxygen cannula attached for easier breathing. I never thought or didn’t let myself think that it would/could be my […]

Not enthused

September 30, 2024.Reading time 7 minutes.

I’m not as excited as I used to be. Mustering enthusiasm seems to require more effort and imagination. There is less get up and go. A bit of done that, seen that and been there. I guess my husband and I have done a fair bit of travelling, uprooting, and trying different things in our lifetime. […]

91 this week

September 23, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My mum would have been 91 this Friday. It’s not wishful thinking. It’s not a lament. It’s just … I miss her. I’m so grateful to have had my mum for as long as I did. 90 years and 8 months is pretty good innings, by any measure. I can’t ask for more, and honestly, […]

Silent generation

September 9, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My mum was 28 years old when she had me. A generation apart, based roughly on a 20-year time interval. She and I were from different generations, and we were different. But not so dissimilar that we didn’t see eye to eye and/or were embroiled in constant arguments. No, not at all. She was […]

Sit. Stand. Balance.

September 2, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I fell off while standing on the ledge of a drain. This happened a couple of weeks ago near Corus Hotel. It was raining. I had already climbed over the drain and was on the ledge when I noticed a puddle of water where my foot/feet would invariably land, if I walked on. As I […]

That’s life

August 19, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Today is three months since my mum passed. I miss her. The previous Sunday, my husband and I went to see my mum at her final resting place, with her new headstone. It was erected on the Wednesday before. That was her wish/decision. To be buried. To have the customary final rites performed for her. […]

Time or me …

August 12, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

It looked like a ghost town. Dark. Doors shuttered. Quiet. There was barely anyone around. My husband and I walked around and looked for places that were open. It was, after all, 7.30pm on a Saturday. Time for dinner, yes. We found three outlets that were operating. Number one served food, and the club’s band […]

Meet up

August 5, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]

Finality

July 29, 2024.Reading time 7 minutes.

I’m thinking. I’m questioning. I am consumed with thoughts, and questions. My headspace is full. I can’t sleep or stay asleep for too long. I have stare-into-space-moments. But I still get on and do most of the chores that need doing. I’m alright. I’m more alright than not, which is good. In fact, my husband […]

A short trip

July 22, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Last week my husband and I went on a road trip, of sorts. We didn’t spend too much time planning it. Our destination was the Belum Rainforest in Gerik, Perak. We wanted a stopover. Somewhere half way between Kuala Lumpur and Gerik. Ipoh, the capital of Perak, was the obvious choice as it was close […]