Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s not.   

And, I’ve wondered if it was/is I or me or ‘they’ or ‘them’ that make it not easy.

To start with, it’s not easy to buy presents. For siblings. As they get older, they don’t want/need too many things. And, I don’t want to add to their clutter bin.

I also don’t know what to buy for the younger family members. For this cohort, money is better. A bit of a cop-out but it’s the better option as most times I never see the prezzies I’ve bought them on them, in their home or anywhere😊. It’s the same with friends. What do I buy them?

For sister number 4’s birthday, which was in mid-November, I thought of clothes, books, desserts, and holidays. Nothing quite came together. Clothes are about size, fit and like. I’ve bought her blouses that were too big. Books, I don’t really know her preference or choice of authors. Desserts, apart from glutinous rice, which doesn’t sit well with her and caramel slices, my knowledge is limited. Holidays, hmm, timing and obligations.

So how? The plan was online groceries. Yes, seriously. I was going to buy stuff that I hoped/thought she’d like and enjoy.   

I know she likes nuts, and she has them as snacks and in her yogurt. I’ve bought nuts as part of a hamper for her. The nuts came in smallish packets, not enough in quantity or variety, and with lots of other stuff that she probably didn’t want. It was the same with scented candles that I got her because she had mentioned liking them, also as part of a hamper. I know I can choose specific items to make up a hamper, but they are generally not what I want or rather what she’d want. I’m no expert in hamper collections but there are so many ‘useless’ things bundled together that they’re too broad-based to be personalised or relevant to most recipients.

Anyways, some weeks ago, I went online and checked out a few items I could toss into my shopping cart, and head to checkout. For instance, there were generous selections of nuts and dried fruits. From roasted and salted walnuts, almonds, cashews, pistachios to dried apricots and dates. In the dairy aisle, there was an assortment of yoghurt. I felt like I had struck gold.

Next, I checked if her location had delivery service. Yay. It did. I keyed in my details. A local telephone number was required to register for an account. Why? I have three registered accounts in Australia with my home mobile number. I use them to send cakes, flowers, balloons and yes, hampers.

I didn’t see the need for a local mobile number but requirements are requirements. I actually made that clear in my third email exchange. I had six in total. Hmm.

The first email was helpful. They/them explained the requirement  – a local number and local address. And, offered an option. I could use a family or friend’s local number for registration. Good suggestion. I responded, and asked if after my registration was accepted with a local mobile number, will verifications for future purchases be via my email only? Why? Because I didn’t want the family member/friend to be bothered each time I bought something.

The second email didn’t answer my question. They/them talked about geographical restrictions and security of the platform. I responded with, ‘Noted with thanks.’ I didn’t want to pursue they/them.

The third email irked me. They/them ‘trusted’ that ‘my issue’ was ‘satisfactorily resolved.’ If I needed further assistance, they/them would help with my query, and looked forward to delivering again to me. What?

I weighed the ROI on my time. For the hell of it, I responded by stating that I/me/they/them – via ‘our three shared email exchanges’ should suggest to they/them that I’m a real person, and they/them can surely verify me via my email. Or call/ text me via WhatsApp. I ended my email response with, ‘I don’t get it, but I accept that rules are rules.’

I received a fourth email. This time, addressed to ‘Charlie.’ The opening line was they/them have customers living overseas who make orders on behalf of relatives and friends. Due to issues with fraud, overseas customers are advised to inform their banks of impending payments to avoid payments being declined. Fair enough. Also, if payments are declined, they/them cannot call overseas numbers to verify.

My response was, ‘Who is Charlie?’

The fifth email was addressed to ‘Chris.’ Yes, ‘Chris’ with an apology for the inconvenience etc.

I emailed three days later with the response, ‘Who’s Chris?’

The sixth and final email was addressed to me, yay. Then, not so yay. It announced that delivery was available to Malvern. Where? It contained the same information as email number four.  

They/them are there, here and everywhere🙃.