It’s ok…

June 24, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My husband asked me if it helps me writing about my mum. Yes and no. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been over five weeks since she left. Yes, that long already. It feels a lot longer to me. I’m ok and I’m not. I’m in a state of flux. I go about doing the daily stuff. […]

Missing my Ama

June 17, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My heart continues to hurt. I miss my mum. I can’t see her. I can’t speak or share with her the things that are going on in my life. Not in person. I knew/know she couldn’t have held on much longer. She was getting more breathless and weaker by the day. It was a struggle. […]

My mum

June 10, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I asked my mum to wait for me. I touched her feet, something I rarely do, and said goodbye. I stepped out of the front door, and waved at her. She smiled, waved, and looked directly at me. She doesn’t do that when her Tamil serials are on. Her focus is usually the telly, and […]

Old is not cool

April 22, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I get it. Old is not cool. I was young once myself. I’m guilty of not giving much thought about older people. I didn’t know what they liked or needed. I can’t remember spending time with them. I didn’t have friends, who were older than me. Old people in my life were my parents, my […]

Being older

April 15, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My mum will be 91 this year. Every so often, she tells me she wants to go to her Tata or grandfather’s house. It’s a story she has created in her head. Part imagination and part memories. My mum’s Tata story has grown manifold since she first started talking about it when she became unwell […]

Losing my jolly

February 12, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I’ve lost my jolly, and I want it back. I know the reasons for my general melancholy. It started with Covid and the restricted movement controls in 2020. Holidays became scarce. The rigmarole involved in organising any form of travel was a deterrent, as was the infectious disease itself. I remember the arduous loops my […]

Present and past

January 15, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My brain, sometimes, stops in the present. Preoccupied with life, and daily routines. It forgets how she was/used to be. Right up to August 2021, my mum was the queen of her condo/castle. She had a daily schedule. Up every morning at 5.30am. Complained about being late even before she began the day. A constant clock […]

Brother number 1

December 11, 2023.Reading time 6 minutes.

I am sad and tearful when I think that my Gunda is no more. I know what has happened but my head and heart are having a hard time accepting, believing. Most of this year, brother number 1 was not in a good way. In and out of hospitals for his protracted prostate condition. And […]

A milestone birthday

September 25, 2023.Reading time 6 minutes.

My mum turns 90 on Wednesday. She is the only 90-year old I know, up close and personal. None of my immediate family members got this far. My dad and my maternal grandmother left at 62. My paternal grandfather exited at 72 while my father-in-law passed on at 82, a distant contender. Kudos to my […]

Old is not gold

August 28, 2023.Reading time 6 minutes.

This August is two years since my mum fell ill. I’ve written a lot about her. Her recipes. Her life. Her stories. More recently, it has been about her ailments. Only because of how much it has changed my mum’s life. My dear mum’s Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), heart failure and kidney disease have deteriorated. […]