A treat for two

June 2, 2025.Reading time 6 minutes.

At breakfast, sister number 3 and I agreed, that our holiday away, just the two of us, was indeed a treat. It felt free and easy, and unencumbered. At Mangala Boutique Resort in Pahang, there was a choice of freshly squeezed juices. A selection of fruit. A variety of pastries with homemade jam and butter. […]

Closure or no closure

May 26, 2025.Reading time 6 minutes.

I thought closure would help me. How? Be less sad, maybe. Feel less guilty, hopefully. How though? By seeing my mum and saying to her all the things I want to say to her. Like what? Like I love her. I wish I had done better by her. I wish I had been there when […]

Six months on

November 18, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Tomorrow is six months since my mum passed. I’m not keeping count of the days or months, but the 19th is difficult to forget. It’s etched in my heart and head, as is my mum. I see my mum every day, everywhere. I have a photo wall, photos on my side table and more photos […]

England

October 7, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

England has always been and still is a special place/destination for me. Weirdly, when I was growing up in Alor Setar, I used to either dream or imagine about sycamore trees in England. Yes, weird. Why? Because I didn’t know what a sycamore tree was or looked like. And, I didn’t know what England was […]

91 this week

September 23, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My mum would have been 91 this Friday. It’s not wishful thinking. It’s not a lament. It’s just … I miss her. I’m so grateful to have had my mum for as long as I did. 90 years and 8 months is pretty good innings, by any measure. I can’t ask for more, and honestly, […]

That’s life

August 19, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Today is three months since my mum passed. I miss her. The previous Sunday, my husband and I went to see my mum at her final resting place, with her new headstone. It was erected on the Wednesday before. That was her wish/decision. To be buried. To have the customary final rites performed for her. […]

Meet up

August 5, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]

Finality

July 29, 2024.Reading time 7 minutes.

I’m thinking. I’m questioning. I am consumed with thoughts, and questions. My headspace is full. I can’t sleep or stay asleep for too long. I have stare-into-space-moments. But I still get on and do most of the chores that need doing. I’m alright. I’m more alright than not, which is good. In fact, my husband […]

A short trip

July 22, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Last week my husband and I went on a road trip, of sorts. We didn’t spend too much time planning it. Our destination was the Belum Rainforest in Gerik, Perak. We wanted a stopover. Somewhere half way between Kuala Lumpur and Gerik. Ipoh, the capital of Perak, was the obvious choice as it was close […]

Ulaanbaatar

July 8, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

The plan was to post this story on 20th May. It didn’t happen. I trashed it. Last week, I retrieved it from the ‘bin.’ Mongolia was the holiday my husband and I were looking forward to since March this year. We researched and identified tour companies, flights, and hotels. We finalised our bookings when sister […]