I learnt a new word from a local radio station, while I was driving. It was the Tamil word for necessary.

I wasn’t particularly concentrating but I think the DJ said something about trying to teach listeners one Tamil word per day. A ‘learn-a-word-a-day’ sort of thing.

As it sounded interesting and a bit of fun, I was on board. Immediately, I tried to think/remember but I couldn’t. The word for necessary or rather how I heard it pronounced was, ‘Thevaya.’ I realised then that I have never used ‘Thevaya’ in my conversations, which to be fair are more often in English.

I also realised that since my mum passed, I speak less Tamil. And, even with her, our conversations were more in English with a smattering of Tamil. My mum was adept at English, and had no problem understanding and/or responding to me. However, she was more comfortable in Tamil.

My mum read and wrote fluently in Tamil. She did her grocery, medicines and to-do lists in Tamil. She was also a voracious reader. Finishing off books such as ‘Ponniyin Selvan,’ the epic historical novel with more than 2,000 pages and the over 400-page ‘Stories about Vikramathithan,’ in record speed. I bought her a waist-high bookstand so she could easily reach out to retrieve her books and magazines from her sofa. I think it was my mum’s love for reading that kept her compos mentis until the very end.

I also spoke Tamil with Kalyani, my mum’s carer, who was Sri Lankan but understood the local Tamil. Local Tamil, by the way, seamlessly without thinking incorporates some Malay and/or foreign words like ‘itik’ or duck and ‘almari’ or cupboard in conversation. Those occasions required interpretation.  

Admittedly, my Tamil has somewhat deteriorated from lack of use but not quite in terms of comprehension. I think I’m alright to hold a conversation if the need arises, which doesn’t seem to arise that much. Not with family or friends. Why not though?

The only time it arises is when sister number 3 and I speak about my mum. We’d recite in Tamil the things she used to say, and laugh out loud. A real life thesaurus of Indian sayings and proverbs, my mum was so apt with her description of people and events. Sometimes, she would quote what her mum, our grandmother, Tulasi, would have said in certain situations. Ironically, I now think of some of the proverbs my mum used to espouse when I see someone saying something silly or acting stupid😊.

Conversations with family have also always been in English, with a few words peppered in Tamil, if at all. It’s the same with friends. Not so long ago, I met up with my university mates, who are not all Tamils, but speak Tamil. One is Telugu and the other is Malayalee. They have their own languages but are able to speak in Tamil. But, we didn’t. Why not though?

On reflection, I think I lacked interest in the language when I was younger. I did attend extra-curricular Tamil classes when I was in primary school. After a dismal spelling quiz result, I was quite happy not to continue learning how to read and write in Tamil.

At the time, I probably paid more attention to English and Bahasa Malaysia, which were the mediums of instruction, and the languages my school books were written in. I think I also didn’t see the need to improve my Tamil because I could speak it. And, I had not much use for it outside my normal sphere of community and communications.

Surprisingly, the smidgeon of Tamil that I learnt many years ago has held me in a relatively good stead as I can make out words, phrases, and sentences in Tamil, albeit at a glacial pace. Sister number 3 is hugely better at Tamil than me. She actually engaged a personal tutor in England, learnt the language, and now reads Tamil fiction.

She and my mum were not only comrade-in-arms when it came to making Deepavali cakes, they were a giggly twosome, who enjoyed watching Tamil movies, no matter how crappy they were. They also waxed lyrical Tamil proses from movies and shared a love for reading books and magazines, which they exchanged between them. Nice.

While I’m still somewhat ambivalent about improving my Tamil language proficiency, I like learning words, their meanings/definitions and how they are used in different contexts. I Googled, and discovered that ‘Thevaya’ comes from the root word ‘Thevai’ which means necessary. While ‘Thevaya’ is actually a question. Like, ‘Is it necessary?’ Hmm. My bad.

Anyways, what I learnt was I could use ‘Thevaya’ as my response to the many things that I don’t want to do and people I don’t want to know or meet with😊.

‘Thevaya’ is playing in my head. As in, ‘Is this blog necessary? Hmm.