My Sinnavan would have been 74 on Wednesday. Not to be.

She was a birthday girl. She loved celebrating her birthday. In fact, she had two. The first and actual one is on 5^th August. The second is 10 ten days later, on the 15^th. Apparently, this date came about because my dad had registered her date of birth, belatedly. 

Anyways, she, like the former queen, celebrated both her real and other birthday with equal pomp and excitement. Every year, she would decorate her home or wherever she was away on holiday with balloons, streamers and birthday cards. She told me that she kept some of her favourite old birthday cards, and displayed them annually.

She would dress up, pose for photos and share them with the family. And, she looked genuinely pleased and happy with herself. Sometimes, she even wore a sash announcing that she was indeed the special birthday girl.

There were celebratory get-togethers with her former work mates, whom she kept in touch with, and with friendly neighbours, at her home. She readily cooked and baked for her invitees. Naturally, there were always cake or cakes, chocolates and many desserts. And, an assortment of savoury dishes.

She loved variety and abundance. And, she shared that generosity with family and friends. She also arranged meals and/or coffee/tea and cakes with her swimming and walking groups. She enjoyed food. She revelled being in amongst company. She was a fun and loving person, who simply relished celebrating and celebrations.

As an aside, my Sinnavan savoured all things glutinous rice. And, Haegan Daz ice-cream, especially when there was a buy 1, get 1 free deal at the supermarkets.

I’m laughing as I write this. She told me she’d share one opened tub of ice-cream with brother-in-law number 3. After she had finished her portion, she’d top it up, surreptitiously, from the second tub of ice-cream, that she had also opened. With no one else the wiser😊.

Back to my Sinnavan’s birthday celebrations. I was in England for her 60^th birthday. It was 2012, the year my husband and I took a gap year, of sorts, to travel. Not the world, but certain places in a few countries that were in the Northern and Southern hemispheres. Considering flight availability, different time zones, and seasons was a little challenging but worth the effort.

It was opportune as we were already in Ireland that July. The summer months have never been our preferred time to be in the UK due mainly to the weather. Living in hot, hot KL, we would always choose to travel in spring or autumn, when its hopefully cooler, and not too wet.

I actually remember sitting at a desk in our rented accommodation in Cork, and searching the Internet for a book that she had said she’d like to read. In parallel, I looked up physical specialist bookshops in London. There weren’t many then.

The book in question was, ‘Parthiban Kanavu’ or Parthiban’s Dream. Yes, a Tamil novel. Not just any Tamil novel. It’s a historical novel written by the widely acclaimed author, Kalki Krishnamurthy. He is also the author of ‘Ponniyin Selvan,’ another historical novel that I had bought for my mum for her birthday. The old girl read the two thick books ferociously.

‘Parthiban Kanavu’ was a little less difficult finding than getting it delivered in time for my Sinnavan’s birthday. But, delivered it was, much to my relief. It meant a lot to me to be able to do something a little different and unexpected for her. My husband and I also got helium balloons and hid them in my mum-in-law’s house a day earlier for her party. Which by the way was at a Malaysian restaurant in Sidcup.

We arrived early, with my mum and dad-in-law, put up the decorations for the birthday party that was attended by sister number 1 and family, and of course, the birthday girl herself and brother-in-law number 3. It was a memorable 60^th birthday do.

For her 70^th, I was not in England. She was in KL, albeit, earlier. She was home, caring for our mum from November 2021 to March 2022. That gave me the opportunity to buy her early birthday presents that she could take home with her. I got her seven blouses and dresses for her milestone birthday. We even had an early birthday celebration, and yes, we danced to Chubby Checker’s, ‘The Twist’ near and around my mum’s dining table.

It’s obviously hard not to feel sad when I think that this happy, loving, caring, generous, vibrant soul – my Sinnavan – is no more.

Advice and teachings have included keeping busy, moving forward, being less attached, et cetera.

I’m trying. But as sister number 4 said to me, ‘It’s hard teaching old dogs new tricks.’

And, I’m an old dog …