Birthday on Wednesday

August 3, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

My Sinnavan would have been 74 on Wednesday. Not to be. She was a birthday girl. She loved celebrating her birthday. In fact, she had two. The first and actual one is on 5th August. The second is 10 ten days later, on the 15th. Apparently, this date came about because my dad had registered […]

Working on it

July 13, 2026.Reading time 7 minutes.

I know feeling sad doesn’t help. I know my Sinnavan is not coming back. Nothing is going to change anything; however, I feel. I know all that. And yet … it’s hard not to feel sad. Hard not to feel that sense of tragic loss. That ‘never being able to see, speak and spend time […]

Goodbyes

July 6, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

I don’t like goodbyes. Like I had written previously, I want to and like to be part of the welcome wagon. The wagon that invites and is full of smiles, bear hugs and happy times to look forward to. This time around, when sisters number 1 from England, and sisters number 2 and 4 arrived […]

Whatever, whenever

June 8, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

My husband and I got together with brother 2 and family to celebrate his birthday. It was a few hours of chatter, laughter and feasting. The company was good. Stories and happenings were shared particularly by the nieces and nephews. The food received many thumbs-ups with an ‘I will return for the sausages’ review. The […]

Remembering

May 18, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

In the first week, I visited two museums and walked in three parks. I watched a band at a local bar. Doing things, keeping busy should help. In the second week, my husband and I drove to Cherating in Pahang, and Terengganu for five nights. A change in scenery should help. Did it help? Yes and […]

What to do

May 11, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

The dominant thought, focus, theme of my every waking moment is my Sinnavan. I think of her. And, I think of her. I don’t want to. Seriously, I don’t. I don’t want to be sad and tearful. But I can’t help myself. Even when I’m doing things to keep my mind from thinking about her, […]

My Sinnavan

May 4, 2026.Reading time 6 minutes.

I’ve lost my sister. My best friend. My confidante. My second mum. My daily chat partner. Yes, everyday sister number 3 calls me between 12noon and 2pm, local time, depending on how long she has managed to sleep the night before in her home in London. When I’ve been out for lunch with family or […]