In the first week, I visited two museums and walked in three parks. I watched a band at a local bar. Doing things, keeping busy should help.

In the second week, my husband and I drove to Cherating in Pahang, and Terengganu for five nights. A change in scenery should help.

Did it help? Yes and no. Sometimes.

My husband and I went to the Craft Museum, located near the Conlay MRT station. That was the station sister number 3 aka my Sinnavan and I stopped at so I could apply for a discounted train card for seniors. I initially hesitated because I didn’t want to deviate from the plan, which was to have lunch at TRX mall and spend time together. But she insisted that we’d still be together and she didn’t want me to return on my own, on another day, to make the application. 

We had dim sum for lunch, one of her favourite cuisines. Although the restaurant was highly rated, the offering was below par. It was she, who complained to the head server, who gave us a complimentary dessert, and discount. A standout feature about her was she spoke her mind, always. TRX is one of the malls that I go to at least once a week. Hmm.

On the way to Cherating, my husband and I made our customary pit stop for donuts at the Gambang rest area. Last year my Sinnavan and I visited Mangala Resort, and we naturally had donuts at the same place. Hmm.

Looking back, I’m thankful she and I did holidays to Penang, Perak, Pahang, Melaka, Johor, and Terengganu. We had lots of laughs. While in Perak, at the Banjaran Resort, she skinny dipped in the private pool of our rented villa. She said she always wanted to do it, and she did😊.

Sister number 3 and I were fortunate to see each other at least once a year. This was despite the fact that she lived in England and me, here. 

She returned annually for Deepavali, and helped our mum make Indian cakes and sumptuous dishes. Our mum was never one for small portions and neither was she. Everything was cooked abundantly and generously.

As nephew number 4 recounted, Deepavali will never be the same again without JayaAtta. While brother 2 reminisced that we’ve lost the three people who were most excited about Deepavali – my mum, brother number 1 and now, sister number 3.

She also returned and stayed for longer when our mum became reliant in late 2021. For over four months from November until March 2022. It was during Covid, and she extended her visa several times so she could take care of our mum. She had said many times that she could easily split her time, and live in KL and London. And, she could have. 

She spoke enough Bahasa. She knew her way in KL. She rode the MRT and LRT, and comfortably walked to the malls near where we live, to shop and buy food. She was familiar with the restaurants, and knew where to buy Malay and Nyonya kuehs/cakes that she liked especially ‘pulut tatai’ with lots of kaya or coconut jam, ‘kueh talam’ and ‘seri muka.’ She loved glutinous rice.  

Central Market was her must-go-to for shopping. She’d buy souvenirs for her friends in England. She actually has a batik table cloth draped over her kitchen table. I was at Central Market recently. Hmm.

Apart from the Covid years, my husband and I, travelled to England every year to visit my mum-in-law and family, and sisters’ number 1 and 3 and family. As my Sinnavan lived next door to my mum-in-law, I’d walk across through her back garden into her kitchen. She’d be smiling, waving and waiting for me.  

In the mornings, she’d make a platter of fruits for my breakfast. Aware of my IBS and constipation issues, her kindness and thoughtfulness were ever-present. I’d never bother to do anything remotely like it myself, but she did.

Actually, my husband and I had booked to fly out on 1 May to England. We cancelled on 15 April due to the uncertainties in the Middle-East. I told my Sinnavan about our decision, and she agreed that it was for the best as getting stranded in Dubai was a scary prospect. I didn’t know about her ovarian cysts then. I found out one day later.

I suggested I’d come over to be with her via one of the airlines that flew direct. She firmly refused. She said sister number 1 had already offered to help as had her friends. Too late.

Yes, I’m doing lots of things to keep occupied. But, the shared holidays, time, conversations, experiences and memories with my Sinnavan constantly trigger, associate and remind me of her. And, the heart wrenching reality that there will be no more or new shared conversations, time, experiences, memories, holidays with my Sinnavan.  Sad.