Yesterday was three-months since my Sinnavan passed. Like I had written before, it seems like a lot longer.

On Wednesday, a memorial service will be held for her. Sister number 1 and family, and brother-in-law number 3 will be there.

Also attending will be her ex-colleagues from the hospitals she had worked in. Going back to the days when she was in St Bart’s in London. I say this only because I met one of her work mate-to-longtime friend when I first visited England in the 1980’s. She will, very likely, be present. Friends from her swimming, walking and gardening groups. People she befriended volunteering at Befrienders. Neighbours, including my mother-in-law.

And, probably the guy who works at the Hovis Factory in Belmont Road, who used to leave loaves of bread on her doorstep. Too many for personal consumption, she distributed the bread to people in the neighbourhood, at her swimming club or to whomever she thought would like or could use a loaf. In jest, I said to her to request for brownies or cupcakes instead of bread.

As an aside, I don’t know this ‘breadman’ person but I know, from my Sinnavan, that he had attended his niece’s wedding in India last year. As the ‘Mama’ or uncle he had responsibilities to perform that included gifts of jewellery etc., and he had talked about it with her. I write this only because that was the sort of involved and interested person she was.

Anyways, I thought the loaves of bread were overruns that the factory gave away for free. Google informed me that it’s part of Hovis’ service to the community. The factory leaves pellets of bread, visibly outside on its grounds, for people to have and enjoy. For free. A laudable generous act.

Back to my Sinnavan. She knew people. Made friends easily and kept most of them. They will probably be at her memorial service at The Boathouse in Danson Park. Yes, the park that she went for walks with her friends, and where she volunteered on Thursdays at the gardens.

I’ve walked with her at Danson Park. In fact, we walked to Danson Park, which isn’t very far from her home in Ightham Road. I remember we held hands, linked arms😊, she’s tactile like I am; walked, talked, laughed and commented on the swans and ducklings that swam in the lake, people who were out and about walking and jogging, the cold weather, which it always is for me at least, and just about anything that came to mind. It was always easy being with my Sinnavan. I miss that and I miss her.

For the memorial service, sister number 1 asked us siblings to offer songs and music titles that we’d like played at the ceremony. The organiser, niece number 1, who is also the executor of sister number 3’s will, wanted a playlist for the three-hour long event.

Naturally, the exercise took me to yet another walk down memory lane. Yes, I’ve been on an extended throwback – thinking, reminiscing these past three months about my Sinnavan. It’s a little difficult not to, particularly, as she’s been a constant in my life.

Like clockwork – the daily phone calls, the genuine interest in my life and well-being, the updates on her life, social interactions and hospital visits, and the carefree exchange of information, anecdotes and happenings on the micro and macro level.

I’m sure she would’ve had a lot to say about the recent World Cup, the resignation of Keirs Starmer, and the appointment of Andy Burnham as UK’s seventh prime minister in ten years, and the shrinking size of chocolates and biscuits. The latter a recurring, favourite topic of ours😊.  

Also, I cannot forget the immeasurable love and support she gave me whilst our mum was unwell. Plus, being physically present and caring for our mum for four months, at a stretch. How do I not think of any of these?

As for the song/music selection, I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for the service but it’s relevant to me in relation to my Sinnavan. I chose Chubby Checker’s ‘The Twist’ as she and I used to dance to it. ‘Sundhari Neeyam…’ as it reminds me, to this day, to the time of her wedding.

And, two other oldish Tamil songs that I picked from YouTube. You see my Sinnavan relished listening to this genre of songs. Yes, they might sound scratchy, winey and loud to some foreign ears but they were the songs she played on her TV and/or iPad. I heard/listened to them only when I was with her, in her kitchen, in her home. And, sometimes, as a treat (not really) in her car, when we were out driving somewhere. Old and new Tamil movies and songs were so her😊.

I love and miss my Sinnavan❤️.