It’s still my birthday month, yes, one more day to go.

Last Tuesday, my mum-in-law asked about my birthday celebrations. I explained that it would continue until the end of March, as I cannot go cold turkey on my desserts. I needed a week to slowly wean myself off the sugar overload.

Officially six and a half decades plus six days young, I wondered about my personal satisfaction index on people and relationships, thus far.

Hmm. It might be a little tricky, and a little less straightforward. Who would it entail? Nature and length of the relationships. Proximity and frequency of contact? And, feelings of love, closeness, and relatability.

I included my husband, family, friends, and others.  

My husband is my closest, best friend. What’s nice about us, or so I think, is we started off as friends, and we are still friends. I’ve known him for over three decades, married for 29 years this year. And, he’s always supportive of me. Present but not pushy.

He knows my strengths and weaknesses. And faults, which I have a few. Conveniently, I cannot remember any at the moment. We have different views on some issues, not many. Nothing that we cannot agree to disagree on.

I have mellowed over the years. I have moved on from being a hot-tempered door and wardrobe slamming younger person to a more tepid-headed older me, who is generally less abusive towards inanimate objects. I have my occasional melt-downs but that’s alright.

Wiser, I cannot be sure, but these days I’m more inclined not to sweat the small stuff, although it gets the better of me, sometimes. Like when lights are not switched off and cupboard doors are left open. How, I ask? My mouth agape? I’ve gradually managed to convince myself, that in the whole scheme of things, this forgetfulness is no biggie.

All said, he is the person I speak to about everything, just about. Some things are best left unsaid, and that I’ve learnt with age. He’s the one I turn to, in good and bad times, and there’ve been a few of those. And, most important of all, he’s the one I want to be with🥇.

Next, my family. As I celebrated my birthday all through March, I thought of my mum even more, and how much I miss her. She knew what a dessert fiend I was/am, and never discouraged my predilection. If anything, she’d tell me not to waste my energy walking to and from the fridge, instead to take whatever it was, and comfortably devour it at the dining table.

My mum was also my friend, my confidante, and my baby ❤️. This is the second year she’s not present in my life. It doesn’t get easier. It just means I’ve to deal with it.

My siblings. I’m blessed to have them in my life. I know ‘they’ say you can’t choose your family, which is true. I didn’t choose mine but I am fortunate to have them in my life. Truth be told, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, a few skirmishes, and one pretty awful disagreement. I hope the not-so-nice times are behind us.  

There’s six of us now sans brother number 1. I love my sisters and brother. What’s good is I know they feel the same way about me. It’s comforting and reassuring. Naturally, the way we feel and interact with each other is not only not the same but it’s also dynamic. I attribute it to shared history, proximity – we live in different countries, and possibly, perception and personality.

We also have our own lives, families, children (my nieces and nephews) and grandchildren (my grandnieces and grandnephews), in-laws, and issues and ailments to deal with. It’s heartening that we continue to love and care for each other 🫶🏻.

Friends. I have three sets. School buddies dating back to my primary and secondary school days in Alor Setar. University mates. Work colleagues. They form separate but quite large WhatsApp chat groups.

It would seem like I have many friends, which I do, numerically. But, in reality, only a few good friends. I keep in touch and try to meet-up whenever opportunities arise. My preference is always getting together one-on-one or in a smaller group. Even numbers are better so no one feels left out in conversations. At times, life, laziness and commitments, make scheduling a little difficult. I try to be present physically, if not, virtually🤗.

Others. Fellow condo-residents, guards, cleaners, and those in retail. I’m not sure if they count as relationships but they are people who recur in my life. I acknowledge and speak with them, and learn something new and interesting about them at various encounters👌.

On the whole, I’m happy with my relationships. For sure, I can do more. Be kinder, listen intently …